Clarion Inn International Drive

“Life is like a Box of Chocolates, but in this case they are all expired.”

Ok, ok, just hear me out. This is a cheap a...ss hotel, you know it, that is why you are looking into it or already booked it, probably because you are also a cheap a...ss person. There are other better ones, and yes, it does not deserve a 5 star rate from me or any reasonable person, but you know … more

Ok, ok, just hear me out. This is a cheap a...ss hotel, you know it, that is why you are looking into it or already booked it, probably because you are also a cheap a...ss person. There are other better ones, and yes, it does not deserve a 5 star rate from me or any reasonable person, but you know what... I still gonna give them a 5 star rating. The main reason is because they know who they are and they stick to their guns, they are bad, there is no hiding that, just read all the other comments, and I booked it because I was looking for a cheap place for 3 days, I was doing a 2 day course in Orlando. The place is awful, and they simply don't care about it. Which nowadays I almost appreciate it. I worked and still am working in the hospitality business and I am getting tire of the hypocrisy of the 5 star service, this was a breeze of fresh air, no faky faky here, they just don't care about you. I arrived a few hours earlier than check-in time, the receptionist sitting down without even gracing me with a glance told me is going to be 35U$D extra if I wanted to get in early. I politely declined. Went for some food when I came back, the room...o my lord. I felt like Marty McFly, did that burger made me travel back to the 80s? When was the last time you saw a Box TV? well...right there...and the Aircon...it was the size of Cincinnati and noisier than New York. Went into the toilet...how to explain this...they had to saw off part of the vanity table so it fits the water tank of the toilet, I have a picture, but too much hassle, I promise it was like that. Hair on the new towels and sheets but somehow everything seemed still clean. The receptionist looked confuse for my morning greetings, I am under the impression she grew up same place as Oliver Twist. It looked like life had won and she had lost, in spite of the age, and above all, (I am taking this from a stand up set so bare with me), If you were hanging from a cliff and the only thing that you needed to climb back up and survive was for somebody to give you a F...ck, and she pass by with a pocket full of them...she just wouldn't give you one. But again, I am not saying this is a bad thing. Au contraire (pardon my French), I think it was amazing, almost like a reality show. Come on, this place is horrible, but is extremely well located and cheap if you consider the alternatives. Go and stay for a few days if you need it, just keep in mind this is what you are gonna get. You can always pay a fortune and stay in a Disney resort were Mickey will wake you every morning with the eggs just how you like it and your beverage of choice...you will still have to pay it and they won't genuinely care about you either, at least these people don't fake it and don't charge you for it.

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